Let Me (Hold You)
by Magnus Glitter Bane Alec
Summary: What if Alec meets Magnus before Clary comes along? Here is that story.


_Hi, it's been a while. Didn't actually think I'll post on here ever again, but here we are. Just a little thing because I felt like writing it apparently. Enjoy_

* * *

"Alec! Duck!" A voice yelled out from somewhere to his left and without even being conscious of it said man did as he was told; staying down low to the ground for the few seconds he could afford to do so before jumping back up and sinking a blade into the thing that flew over him as he hit the ground. It exploded into ashes and goo; soaking him in it, because of course it did.

There was only a mere moment he allowed himself to feel disgust, and rub the goo off of his face with one practiced movement, before he was drawing back the bow string and letting it fly. Watching it hit its target square on with nothing but pure satisfaction.

Still, they were outnumbered. Only the three of them against at least eleven of these ugly things, as far as he can see. _Not that it means much_; he thought as he watched a whip slice though two of them at once. _The demons never stood a chance._

Maneuvering his body out of the way as another came crashing towards him, growling and hissing as it went, Alec was just fast enough to grab the seraph blade still on the ground and sink it in its throat before it even noticed that it has indeed missed its intended target.

He will need a long ass shower after this.

Izzys's shout brought him out of the slow calm settling in his mind, but Jace was already there by the time he looked up to see ashes where he knew a demon must have been right on her back.

Only three left now. Jace smiled, obviously noticing at the same time that he did, as their eyes scanned the alleyway. He always liked this too much; when it became less of a fight and more of a game of cat and mouse.

The demon to his right was the first one to try and run; but the other was on him from one blink to the next. After that there was nothing to be on anymore and only two left.

They were too cocky though, Jace taking too much time to play with the last two that they didn't even notice a third hidden in the shadows until it was on the blonds back with a snarl; clawing at his chest and snapping at his neck.

Alec didn't think and just reacted; drawing an arrow, taking in a breath, and letting it go. He watched it fly through the air almost silent and hit it's mark in a second; leaving Jace to fall on his knee, a hand on the ground keeping him steady as he took in some much needed air.

He was by him almost right away, knowing that Izzy must have taken care of the other two in the meantime as he couldn't see any more shadows around them. "Are you okay?" There was blood on his front, but not enough to be overly concerning. Alec still put a hand on his shoulder; more for his own benefit if he was honest with himself. He so rarely was when it comes to Jace though.

"I'm fine. Thing just got a jump on me." His voice was a little strained and breathy, but he still looked up at the other and gave him one of his usual smiles anyway.

Their eyes met; and Izzy ruined the moment. Typical. "Just draw an iratze on him and let's go. I need a shower." She was standing next to him now, trying to wipe off all the demon goo off of her with pure disgust on her face. Seeing her only reminded him of his own state of dress so he held an arm out to help Jace up.

There was no hesitation as his hand was taken and he could heave his brother up with minimal effort to it. "Thanks." As soon as the rune was drawn Jace's shoulders finally relaxed and he was breathing better almost instantly.

It made that small ball of worry melt away in him even as he made the other lean onto him as they walked back.

That of course doesn't mean that he didn't check up on him two or three times throughout the night just to make sure the iratze was actually doing its job and Jace was still breathing.

"One of these days he'll find out." Izzy was leaning onto the wall as he took the turn in the hallway so he can get back to his own room; the sudden words startling him and making him stop. Her eyes were sharp as she held his own, showing nothing but worry and love even as her arms were crossed over her chest. He of course said nothing, so she continued after a beat. "What are you going to do about it?"

_Run;_ he wanted to say, but didn't let it get past his lips. Instead breaking eye contact and looking away from the pity in her eyes. He didn't need an explanation of what she was talking about. They both knew it. He knew it better than anyone, as dread constricted over his heart at the mere thought. So he kept his eyes on the stain on the wall as he went with the safer answer.

"I don't know."

It's not like it was a lie anyway.

.

.

.

Like every other time his sister mentioned the big elephant in the room, Alec spent the next few days avoiding everyone and hiding away in the nearest park, because avoidance really should have been his middle name.

Of course avoiding everyone isn't always without consequences. This time said consequence was sitting down next to him as he left his might wonder far enough that he didn't notice until it was too late. He still refused to look up from his own hands though; knowing full well who it is.

The silence that followed wasn't long. "Nice day today, isn't it?"

"Sure." He didn't actually feel like talking, but also didn't want to be a dick about it. The other did nothing wrong after all. It was Alec's own stupidity that was the problem here.

"Ah I see, feeling as light as bird today, don't we?" He was teasing. Of course he was teasing. Alec did his best to fight the small smile threatening to come out even as he felt his own body relax just a little bit at the all the familiar voice.

Their knees bumped together, the movement nothing short of intentional.

He knew it was stupid but it still made him feel better somehow. The other knew him more than he was willing to admit to himself; knew he needed that small reassurance that can't come from words alone. It was stupid. It still made the corners of his lips lift up just a little bit.

"There we go." The voice was closer now, obviously having hunched down so he can see the other's face even as it was bowed down and half hidden by hair. He really should go get a haircut soon. "The clouds are disappearing from the horizon."

"It's sunny out." Alec deadpanned.

"Well obviously it isn't sunny in, honey bunny." The nickname had him scrunch his nose in distaste and look up for the first time so he can glare at the other. All it did was make him laugh though. "I'm guessing that's a no on honey bunny."

"A big no."

Their eyes met while Magnus was still chuckling to himself, an easy smile on his face and pupils barely visible in his cat eyes. The look on him completely delighted now that Alec was actually looking up.

It didn't do things to his insides at all. Alec is a Shadowhunter. His heart does not skip a beat like he was a damn twelve year old girl.

"Want to come hide out at my place for a bit? Or are we counting sand granules until the sun goes down." His foot scraped over the sand covered ground as he spoke, moving Alec's attention back down.

Sometimes he wishes the other would stop being so good at figuring him out. Sometimes, when it felt like he just had a book of all things Alec and was blowing through pages left and right; he wishes he could close it and burn it, so he would just stop. It would be so much easier if he could just be angry at him. At this stranger that sat next to him one day and somehow knew not to ask questions. This-not so stranger anymore- that still doesn't ask questions and just lets him be, but doesn't let him be alone.

Oh how he wishes he could just hate him. But he doesn't. He can't.

"We can leave."

Magnus was the first one to get up, offering him a hand as he did. "Come on then my little ratatouille."

This time it was Alec who laughed. "You comparing me to a rat now." He took his hand anyway, and let himself be hauled up even thought they both knew he didn't need it.

"I knew you loved that movie!" Not letting go of his hand still, Magnus pointed at him with the finger of the same hand accusingly and with a big smile.

Rolling his eyes, Alec started to walk, trying to look annoyed but knowing the smile on his face was ruining it.

.

.

.

It all started innocent enough. Alec was angry at himself for what he was, at Izzy for what she knew and honestly at the world for putting him in this position in the first place. He was angry and had nowhere to go, so he sat on a bench because he knew he couldn't be at home. Not yet at least. Not until he calms down enough that he doesn't do something stupid.

He was alone; until he wasn't. Until someone sat right there next to him, making him tense up because the last thing he needed right then was some stranger asking him questions he wasn't ready to answer.

The stranger said nothing though. An hour past and there was still just silence as the two of them sat there on the same bench until the sun set and the stars came out. It was only then that Alec looked up and was met with cat eyes of a warlock; making him tense up for a completely other reason.

However, all the warlock did was meet his eyes, pat his thigh and leave without as much as a word, leaving the other confused but just a little bit more relaxed then he has been since that morning.

It kept happening after that. The warlock wasn't there every time, but enough that they started talking after some time of silence. Enough that sometimes he slept over in his apartment when he just couldn't make himself go back and face Izzy or Jace. Enough that he saw this warlock as a friend even if they never talked about anything important.

How that turned into making out on said warlocks couch; Alec really doesn't know, but he also didn't complain about it when it happened.

They didn't talk about it, but it also didn't stop. Neither of them still talked about the big stuff, Magnus barely knowing anything about his life other then what he is, and Alec being pretty much the same. That fact still didn't stop whatever they had going on developing further.

They still didn't talk about it though and Alec was happy for it. He didn't need any more labels in his life. It was easy and good and there was no need to ruin it.

.

.

.

Waking up was a slow process; his mind still trying to cling onto the dreams of the night even as they were slowly getting forgotten. Opening his eyes without being blinded took three tries; after which he groaned in irritation and just turned his back to the window, burrowing his head under the ever-present mountain of pillows.

"Stop moving." An arm tightened against his bare stomach as a body was pressed flush against his back, breath tickling Alec's neck as he spoke. "Go to sleep."

"I need to leave." The words were said even as he still put no effort in actually getting out of bed, instead letting himself melt into the soft mattress that sometimes really does feel like it's made out of actual clouds. He should really ask Magnus about that sometimes.

The thought was getting away from him though, as sleep slowly wrapped around him again like a warm blanket.

He really does need to leave, but a few more minutes won't hurt anyone. Magnus hummed from behind him in satisfaction as sleep won and he was lost to the world for a little bit longer.

.

.

.

Jace was hurt, again; and Izzy was watching him with that look that she always seems to have on her face lately. All of it just made him want to leave as he watched Jace breathe from the doorway of his room just so he can try to get the picture of the blond lying on the floor, covered in blood, out of his head.

As always, it wasn't working so well.

If anything it made him slump down to the ground and put his head in his hands; not even knowing if it was worry or frustration that he was feeling. Could have been neither.

He almost died. And he wasn't even acknowledging it.

He was bloody, and bruised up, and covered in guts, but he still smiled up at Alec with an 'I'm fine'. If he didn't already have a black eye, Alec was sure he would have given him one.

"You can't go on like this." It was Izzy, he didn't even have to look up to know what the look on her face would be.

"Leave it. Just, leave it." He was too tired to deal with her too. Too tired and still too scared that Jace won't wake up even though he knows the iratze is doing its thing.

She of course didn't listen, sitting down next to him instead. "I love you." Her hand was on his thigh; touch soft, reassuring. "I love you, and I hate seeing you run yourself into the ground like this. I want you to be happy."

"I am." He may not have looked like it then, but he was actually happy. Has been happy for a while. It has been six months since he met Magnus and even though Jace insisted on trying to kill himself, he was actually happy.

He couldn't say so though. Magnus felt like something that was only his own and he felt the need to keep it that way. Keep it hidden away, so it can't be tainted and turn into something it's not.

Izzy would be happy to know, but saying the words would put a label to it. And Alec really doesn't feel ready to put a label on it. So he says nothing at all.

.

.

.

"Sweet pea."

"No." Alec said over the lip of his coffee cup even as there was a smile on his face. Magnus of course didn't let that stop him as he continued stirring his own coffee with a swirl of a finger; looking thoughtful for a moment before a huge smile broke it.

"Love muffin?" He said the words with a straight face and the other almost chocked, taking a sip right as he started talking. It resulted in something between a coughing fit and laughter. Magnus's smile just got bigger at seeing it. "That a no or a yes?"

It took a moment for the other to calm down enough to speak, but he got there in the end. "That's a definite no."

"Hmm, shame."

"No, it's really not." Magnus just had enough time to open his mouth before Alec cut him off, trying to save himself from public embarrassment. "If you're thinking anything along the lines of Cuddle muffin you can stop right there." It was supposed to be a threat; but his voice was too soft and smile too big to actually get through as one.

The words made Magnus hesitate for only a second. "Butter cup"

Alec's face must have been enough of a no for that one because Magnus was already talking before he even had time to respond. "Oh come on, Alexander. They're not that bad." Even as he said he was holding in his own laugh; hiding it by taking another sip of coffee.

"They're awful." Which was true. Every single nickname Magnus came up with has been bad in every way, but Alec was still enjoying himself so he added on; "What else do you have?"

Magnus's answering smile was worth it.

"Passion fruit."

That was not.

.

.

.

The first time Clary showed up, Alec has been irritated. The way that Jace just seemed to gravitate towards her whenever she was in the room was enough to make him ball his hands into fists and grind his teeth together to stop himself from lashing out. It's not her fault that Jace cared even less about his own safety now.

Except it kind of was, and Alec was not accepting it without a fight. He still tried his best not to have it though.

But then the name 'Magnus Bane' left her mouth and he was terrified. He was terrified because suddenly they were in front of the very familiar door and Alec can say 'this is a bad idea' as many times as he wants but they were still ringing the doorbell even as his blood run cold.

This was his secret, his own piece of happiness; right there, and they were ruining it.

Magnus opened the door, Alec averted his eyes.

* * *

_Hope you liked it! Leave a review if you did. _

_And no i will not post a follow up to this. Honestly don't even know why I'm posting this in the first place cause it's been about four years since i was last active. Doubt anyone is here from that time but if ya are just wanted to say that I missed you :)_

_Thanks for reading my lovelies ;)_


End file.
